by Jen Wren
Oooh oooh oooh! I love Halloween!! I love Halloween most of all.
Well, for one, I was a Drama major, so any chance I get to legitimately affect an accent while wearing a fake mustache (without public scorn) is great day for me.
Also, it's one of the few holidays that do not involve family get-togethers, unrealistic resolutions, epic car trips, obligatory gift-giving, "kill me, I'm single", or horrible Hallmark cards. And, although it's a drinking holiday, it's not an "ohmygodpleasekillmewhywhywhy?" drinking holiday.Plus, my husband and I usually go all out and coordinate our looks. Here I am as a Geisha, circa 2005. (My husband was a giant robot attacking Tokyo.)
Here is one of my personal favorites from 2006. I'm Dita Von Teese and he is Zombie Robert Ghoul-et.
And here . . .
Oh wait . . . that was an acting job.
Cmon, let's focus people.
What could possibly make this Awesomest of Candy Coated Holidays even sweeter?
Partying like a Costumed Rock-star UPTOWN Style!
I mean, why spend your one glorious Me-holiday trapped in the East Village with the underage Bridge and Tunnel crowd, dodging a loud and obnoxious parade of Sexy Cats, Sexy Superheroes, Sexy Mascots, Sexy Politicians, Sexy Snails, and Sexy Car Parts. What a waste of a magical night.
(Plus, I’m a Harlem Girl now, and I fully intend to give my hood some Halloween love!)
So, my Creepy Compatriots, I offer you a fine selection of all of the deliciously terrifying Halloween events you can enjoy at the top of island. The kind of parties where everyone understands your Ironic Pun costume. I'm a Missed Steak! Get it? . . . . .
What, you don’t have a costume? That’s ok!:
You don’t even need to hop a train to buy a Pre-fab Spiderman suit because Ricky’s has dropped a Pop-up Halloween store right on FDR!
Or if that isn’t your taste, go off-brand with “Spirit Halloween” at 215 West 125th Street. I hear they even have a pirate out front to direct you straight to Halloween Heaven!
These two stores are so close to the 125th Street shopping district that you can grab your glitter, lashes, bargain pumps and weave in one quick trip!
Love a wicked cocktail? Check out:
The charismatic, yet secretive owner of Bohemia Realty Group’s next-door neighbor Bier (Vampire? I think so!) told me that the joint was planning an awesome, intimate event with a costume contest, and featured drink and food specials all night long. It’s sure to be a great time and maybe you’ll run into a few members of the Bohemia crew dressed as the most terrifying thing on the rental market, Beer-drinking Bedbugs!
Bier, 2099 Frederick Douglas Blvd
FDR’s beloved corner hotspot, Harlem Tavern, will celebrate the undead with a Creole Masquerade Ball. Expect to see the always-attractive wait-staff in masks and feathers partying to the sweet music of Sugartone Brass Band. The evening will commence with a cash-prize costume contest and Spooooooky Karaoke! Traditional Creole cuisine will be highlighted with food and drink specials all night!
Harlem Tavern, 2153 Frederick Douglas Blvd.
Got kids? Take your little pumpkins to these FREE Uptown events happening all month long:
The fantastic East Harlem bi-lingual museum, El Museo del Barrio, will join in the ghostly fun with The Día de los Muertos Celebration acting as the theme for the museum's free monthly Super Sabado party. Enjoy face painting, arts and crafts, live music and a costume procession from the nearby Dana Discovery Center to the museum.
El Museo del Barrio, 1230 Fifth Avenue at 104th Street, Saturday, October 20 11am-6pm
You’re going to have to drop a little green for the Halloween-themed rides and games at the Morningside Montessori School's Fall Festival but this Upper West school’s Halloween-themed bash offers a totally free concert by Moey's Music Party, the Upper West Side’s most rockin Mom Band.
Morningside Montessori School
100th Street between Broadway and West End Avenue
Sunday, October 28 11am-4pm
Planning on carving a pumpkin? Bring your scary gourd over to the Dana Discover Center and then watch it drift out into the creepy sunset on the Harlem Meer at the Halloween: Parade & Pumpkin Sail. Other fun activities for little ones include Halloween-themed arts and crafts, live story-telling, music and a family costume parade around park.
Central Park, enter at 110th Street between Lenox and Fifth Avenues
Sunday, October 28 4-6:30pm
And in the Completely Random, But Completely Brilliant and Entirely Unique category:
Did you know that Harry Houdini, the magician known for his Chinese Water Torture Cell trick and for being buried alive, died on Halloween in 1926? And, did you know, that the house he spent his last years in is in Harlem? That’s right, you can stop by The Harry Houdini House on Halloween night to celebrate the famous pact that Harry and his beloved wife Bess made to each other: that whoever “crossed over” first would, if it was possible, do everything they could to come back to send a message from the afterlife. Although, both Houdinis have now passed on, Houdini séances are still held every year on the Halloween anniversary of his death . . . Break out the ouji board, maybe Harry has a message for you!
The Harry Houdini House (Don’t knock! It’s a private residence!)
278 W. 113th Street
The Haunted Halloween Hash Run for Street Squash: This event kicks off with an early Halloween Hunt for Middle- school aged kids, centers on 3.5 mile hash run (supporting the Street Squash Marathon Team, benefitting StreetSquash Harlem) and ends with A $10 registration fee and a commitment to raising $50 in donation buys you the run, lunch, and dri-fit t-shirt! Running in costume will earn you a prize!
SL Green StreetSquash Center in Harlem, 41 West 115th Street, New York, NY
Saturday October 27th, 10:30am Volunteer Halloween Hunt, 11am Check in / Registration
Halloween Extravaganza and Procession of Ghouls at St John the Divine: This one may be my personal favorite. There are so many amazing Halloween events happening at Uptown’s iconic cathedral that I can’t even list them. Just click the link and have your mind blown through your face.
The Cathedral of St. John the Divine: 1047 Amsterdam Avenue at 112th Street
So, my Spirited Side-kicks, take my advice and eschew the lame, over-baked, intoxicated “Spookfest” that is the downtown and come uptown to where the Cool Ghoul’s are hangin’.
PS. Look for the couple dressed as a Complex Math Equation. Or . . . maybe the Romneys . . . or something from Game of Thrones . . . . .